It is one of the country’s most exciting consciousnesses which is on the schedule today, where Gustav I. Entwistles’s consciousness is being reviewed and communicated to an enormous audience that boils with expectation. The lecturer, Federspiel, crumples the bag of questions and slaps it twice, after which the questions float out of the bag an into the air as small points of light. The audience gasps. Wait. There is something wrong with the tall lecturer’s shoe heel. No, fortunately not anyway.
“Let me start with an anecdote. At one time Entwistle becomes fed up with his subconsciousness. His psychologist explains to him that the reason is that the subconscious has become aware of a burning candle that annoys it because of the heat and two hats. As one of the hats catches fire, in the subconscious kind of way, Entwistle becomes tired of his subconsciousness, instead of locating and getting tired of the core of the problem, namely the candle. He walks twice around the candle with a ram before he discovers the psychologist who is hiding behind the flame. The psychologist, we will name him Steven, burns his nose, and Entwistle is able to breathe again and thanks Steven in a letter. He has come a lot further with his consciousness.”
The audience mumbles excitedly.
“I hope the best for others because I’m a religious person and not because of the way they treat me.”
Entwistles’s objection is ignored by the lecturer who shows a nice splinter of flint he has found.
“I think we’ll pass it round.”
(Artiklerne på The Other Newspaper er fiktive. Formålet med The Other Newspaper er at give offentligheden en ny, urovækkende og humoristisk spejling af den måde vi konsumerer nyheder på traditionelle medier og opslag på de sociale som får modtageren til at sætte spørgmålstegn ved om verden har brug for forandring og om man kan leve på nettet.)