A postman from these parts (“from these parts” – what does he mean!?) has, as mentioned in the heading (“as mentioned in the heading” – highly unconventional! Unreasonable!) received a … and it’s a postman that never quits, he is out in all weather. Once he rode through a tree without knocking! And the tree was as thick as this! Why then this rattling squirrel currency just because he writes about himself instead of fun stuff? Why punish another of these fools who can not make a good joke? That’s why I returned the whole lot. How to get rid of all the hazelnuts is a source of continued bewilderment. I left them on the high table in the kettle room where they are now gathering dust while I’m sitting here with my nutcracker. Liszt plays in the background, and he has to stick to that the future, the background.
(Artiklerne på The Other Newspaper er fiktive. Formålet med The Other Newspaper er at give offentligheden en ny, urovækkende og humoristisk spejling af den måde vi konsumerer nyheder på traditionelle medier og opslag på de sociale som får modtageren til at sætte spørgmålstegn ved om verden har brug for forandring og om man kan leve på nettet.)