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Trumps furry little secret

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President Trump, after receiving wide spread criticism from both sides of the aisle, finally admitted to housing a live guinea pig on his head. The aforementioned rodent, from here on out referred to as Sebastien, has apparently been living on the Trump cranium for a number of years. First adopted after a trip to the Andes, Sebastien has been a faithful and favorite member of the Trump household, often helping now 33-year old Eric Trump fall asleep at night.

“He’s a beloved member of the family.”

After a press conference with the president and family, he revealed that he had not and would not remove Sebastien from his head and pleaded that he and his guinea pig deserved privacy and had the right to any sort of symbiotic relationship they wanted. Trump went further explaining that Sebastien provided the luxurious locks that Trump desired while the president provided Sebastien warmth and protected him from his natural predator, Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

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