Home Non-categorized “Please Greet Your Wife And Tell Her She Lives On Seaweed”

“Please Greet Your Wife And Tell Her She Lives On Seaweed”


In private he paints the fence, takes care of his family, rummages about in the garden, and plays kick the can with his pockets full of cooked prawns. At work he takes care of the fence, rummages about in the family, paints the garden and plays kick the can with his pockets full of cooked prawns. The Other Newspaper meets Geefer Noot for a talk about tape, decorating mashed potatoes with crushed carrots and why his neighbor smells of tar.

“My neighbour opposite is Gerhard Fuck.”

The interview is interrupted by the postman who pokes his head in at the kitchen door.

“Have you seen Gerhard Fuck recently?”

“Yes, he came a little while ago.”

“Well, well. Then everything is as usual.”


“Is he still in pain?”

“It helps when he’s lies flat down on his back.”

“Have you polished the flagpole?”

“My wife did that.”

“You do not need a cloth then?”

“Gerhard always lets his air dry.”

“Well, I’ll go over to Joanna. She is curious about my delivery.”

“Yes. She has a good sense of humor.”

“Yes. But she does not like it when I’m too busy.”

“Of course. Well, is it soft this time?”

“She will be happy when she gets it up.”

“I want to say that you must be patient too.”

“Does she get meat today?”

“She just gets the little one, I can’t remember what it’s called.”

“Basically, that doesn’t matter. As long as it tastes better than the one I got last time.”

“What did it taste like?”

“I can’t recommend it. I complained and then they sent me one with two melons and a really delicious can.”

“It’s lovely. My wife has one too. You know what? Tell your wife that she has something she can put in.”

“Haha. That could really be misunderstood. But I’ll do that.”

“Please greet your wife and tell her that her nuts are delicious.”

“Please greet your wife and say she has buttocks of steel.”

“Please greet your wife and say she lives on seaweed.”

The noisy conversation is interrupted by Geefer’s wife who enters the kitchen and knocks him on the top of his head with a broom. The postman runs away.

(The articles at The Other Newspaper are fictitious. The purpose of The Other Newspaper is to give the public a new, disturbing and humorous reflection of the way we consume news on traditional media and posts on the social media that make the recipient question whether the world needs to change and whether one can live online.)