Hi Mark Zuckerberg,
I’m buying Facebook with my body language. Buying Facebook with my body language. Let me tell you a little bit about language before moving on to something as sublime as body language and, even more sublime, my body language. The simplest way we can speak is pffft [+ music]. Whistling with mouth on top of music. Together with someone we know really well. It is known to all married couples. Friends don’t know this very well. Facebook friends don’t know it at all, because Facebook friends don’t whistle on top of music. Music is pop music. This is often the case in the world. American well-produced shit. By whistling atop a piece of pop music pffft [+ music] we can communicate what an autumn evening consists of besides darkness. We can symbolize things by whistling on top of the music. And now everyone who sees this knows me and my image and nobody knows you. This means, I buy Facebook with my body language by turning on the music and whistling a bit on top. I translate my body language into annoying whistling on top of effeminate music.
(The articles at The Other Newspaper are fictitious. The purpose of The Other Newspaper is to give the public a new, disturbing and humorous reflection of the way we consume news on traditional media and posts on the social media that make the recipient question whether the world needs to change and whether one can live online.)