A reader of The Other Newspaper asks why you can’t set fire to a single piece of firewood.
“Many years ago I was very interested in suction discs. I think the name was well chosen because one sat on my window and I went out into the garden to take a little break from my hobby. Here I tried to set fire to a single piece of firewood but, alas, without any success. The weather was beautiful, but I concluded that it was raining because there was no fire from the firewood. For the rest of the day I met numerous people who tried to convince me that it didn’t rain but that the sun shone from a cloudless sky. In the end I had to press the rain button to make the rain come. When the rain came, the same piece of firewood approached me with a funny little letter. But since then I have not gotten close to the solution. If you at The Other Newspaper can help me answer my question, I would be extremely thrifty.
Professor Gimme Five Jonsson answers:
“When several firewoods are close together, my guess is that a suction emerges that will intensify the oxygen absorption. This suction is a kind of miniexplosion that causes the fires to explode and emit green smoke and festive festoons. Take two aspirins and call me in the morning.”
(Most articles on The Other Newspaper are fictitious. The purpose of The Other Newspaper is to give the public a new, disturbing and humorous reflection of the way we consume news on traditional media and posts on the social media that make the recipient question whether the world needs to change and whether one can live online.)