“I weigh every word I read.”
What do you use as a counterweight when weighing each word?
“My enormous ego.”
But enormous is not necessarily the same as weighty.
“No. The words weigh heaviest. My ego is not as heavy as the words.”
But it can still be inflated.
“Do you mind holding this cuff link while I am weighing you, Mr The Other Newspaper journalist?”
What will you use as a counterweight?
“The word elf.”
Then I don’t think the cuff link and my ego make a sufficient counterweight. May I borrow your shoe?
And that aquarium?
“Here you go.”
Fill it up with water, if it’s not too much trouble.
Do you think it would be a great inconvenience if the four Egyptians standing there wanted to assist me on my scale?
“We can ask them.”
How do you ask in Egyptian?
“They speak Swedish.”
How do you know?
“Have no idea.”
(Most articles on The Other Newspaper are fictitious. The purpose of The Other Newspaper is to give the public a new, disturbing and humorous reflection of the way we consume news on traditional media and posts on the social media that make the recipient question whether the world needs to change and whether one can live online.)