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Demanding Clown Acts


“I weigh every word I read.”

What do you use as a counterweight when weighing each word?

“My enormous ego.”

But enormous is not necessarily the same as weighty.

“No. The words weigh heaviest. My ego is not as heavy as the words.”

But it can still be inflated.

“Do you mind holding this cuff link while I am weighing you, Mr The Other Newspaper journalist?”

What will you use as a counterweight?

“The word elf.”

Then I don’t think the cuff link and my ego make a sufficient counterweight. May I borrow your shoe?


And that aquarium?

“Here you go.”

Fill it up with water, if it’s not too much trouble.


Do you think it would be a great inconvenience if the four Egyptians standing there wanted to assist me on my scale?

“We can ask them.”

How do you ask in Egyptian?

“They speak Swedish.”

How do you know?

“Have no idea.”

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Morten Hjerl-Hansen (born 15. June 1973) is a danish blogger born in Copenhagen, Denmark, Europe. I lived for the first 19 years of my life in a liberal-minded, literary and academic home in North Zealand. My mother is a psychiatrist and my father is a chemical engineer. I have two siblings. Throughout childhood, "I invented near-useless things almost every day" and told my siblings "fairy tales" where they themselves were the protagonists. In 1986, I visited Houston in the United States with my family on a stay that spanned three and a half months. I started programming in 1986 and made approx. 20 major projects until I "lost the ability" in 2018. Student from N. Zahles High School 1992. Ry College 1993. Read theology 1993-1994 in Aarhus. Read philosophy 1995-2000 in Linköping, Lund and Copenhagen. Worked as Java programmer 2000 and 2001. Participated in numerous poetry readings in Copenhagen 2002-2007. Got a psychosis in 2007 "which took about 10 years to recover". Married to Else Andersen in 2010 and resides in Asnaes, Denmark. Father in 2014. Has written The Other Newspaper daily in Danish and English daily since 2013.