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Gas Stations Exist in Perfect Health


“It’s just because the contact with the filling-station attendant is often a little superficially conventional and ceremonious that I made a bit of fun with my friend Youk and said that gas stations don’t exist. Heh heh.”
Yes, yes, I get the point.
“Existential nausea a la Sartre. Heh heh.”
Well I got it.
“But when I started to google different gas stations, I realized that several of the objects and paraphernalia at gas stations around the country actually have astonishingly high levels of existence. The dirty gauntlet which is used to put in and take out the baking sheet with prefabricated dough scores a remarkable 7 points of existence, even with a star, while the pump hoses themselves gets 14 points. However, this score is for all the hoses, taken together.”
That’s unfair.
Because then the level of existence of the individual hose decreases when new ones are added.
If the owner expands with more pumping stations, more hoses will come.
“Do not fumble with that thing!”
If they have a shared existence level, then the level of existence of each particular hose must be the total points divided by the number of hoses.
“You can’t say that.”
I just said so. Heh heh.
“But you can’t divide.”
I just said that I can and will divide if new hoses are added.
“How long will you wait?”
Three months.
“Why exactly three months?”
This is the time it takes to build a plastic toothpick in a pre-industrial society.
“You sound like Douglas Coupland.”

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Morten Hjerl-Hansen (born 15. June 1973) is a danish blogger born in Copenhagen, Denmark, Europe. I lived for the first 19 years of my life in a liberal-minded, literary and academic home in North Zealand. My mother is a psychiatrist and my father is a chemical engineer. I have two siblings. Throughout childhood, "I invented near-useless things almost every day" and told my siblings "fairy tales" where they themselves were the protagonists. In 1986, I visited Houston in the United States with my family on a stay that spanned three and a half months. I started programming in 1986 and made approx. 20 major projects until I "lost the ability" in 2018. Student from N. Zahles High School 1992. Ry College 1993. Read theology 1993-1994 in Aarhus. Read philosophy 1995-2000 in Linköping, Lund and Copenhagen. Worked as Java programmer 2000 and 2001. Participated in numerous poetry readings in Copenhagen 2002-2007. Got a psychosis in 2007 "which took about 10 years to recover". Married to Else Andersen in 2010 and resides in Asnaes, Denmark. Father in 2014. Has written The Other Newspaper daily in Danish and English daily since 2013.