Home Non-categorized New Study: Communication People Can’t Puke

New Study: Communication People Can’t Puke

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“It’s a big problem for our society that communication people can’t puke.”

What do you mean?

“If you’re fed up with something you read or encounter in the information society and you’re unable to puke. That’s terrible.”

Why not solve it with communication?

“But communication is impossible, in the sense you communicated just now.”

Take a look at that guy. He is certainly communicating all he can.

“He is alone.”

He is preparing a speech.

“He’s talking to a bracket lamp.”

What’s a bracket lamp?

“A kind of lamp. [Googles.] A small wall lamp.”

What would the world be like if everyone puked all the time?

“You’re an asshole. You are evil.”

I’d so like to communicate with you.

“Lie down. Breathe deeply. Through your nose.”

But this is humiliating. In a room full of communication experts.

“And then … suuusshh … exhale through your mouth. Excellent. 20 times.”

“Do you feel a little better?”

What? I feel relaxed. Where did we get to? It is as if I have already repressed everything.

“You haven’t repressed shit.”

Oh no. Communication. It all comes back.

“Easy! Easy. No tricks! We’re in an interview. You interview me! Remember that!”

Yes.

“What’s the next question?”

The next question?

“Yes.”

“I’m waiting?”

Thank you for your communication.

“WHAT?!”

Thank you.

“This comes as a surprise.”

It feels excellent.

“I’m grateful to you. I need praise constantly. I admit it.”

Nothing to

“You

I’m

“Yes.

Correction.


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(Most articles on The Other Newspaper are fictitious. The purpose of The Other Newspaper is to give the public a new, disturbing and humorous reflection of the way we consume news on traditional media and posts on the social media that make the recipient question whether the world needs to change and whether one can live online.)

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Morten Hjerl-Hansen (born 15. June 1973) is a danish blogger born in Copenhagen, Denmark, Europe. I lived for the first 19 years of my life in a liberal-minded, literary and academic home in North Zealand. My mother is a psychiatrist and my father is a chemical engineer. I have two siblings. Throughout childhood, "I invented near-useless things almost every day" and told my siblings "fairy tales" where they themselves were the protagonists. In 1986, I visited Houston in the United States with my family on a stay that spanned three and a half months. I started programming in 1986 and made approx. 20 major projects until I "lost the ability" in 2018. Student from N. Zahles High School 1992. Ry College 1993. Read theology 1993-1994 in Aarhus. Read philosophy 1995-2000 in Linköping, Lund and Copenhagen. Worked as Java programmer 2000 and 2001. Participated in numerous poetry readings in Copenhagen 2002-2007. Got a psychosis in 2007 "which took about 10 years to recover". Married to Else Andersen in 2010 and resides in Asnaes, Denmark. Father in 2014. Has written The Other Newspaper daily in Danish and English daily since 2013.