Home Non-categorized “Please Greet Your Wife And Tell Her She Lives On Seaweed”

“Please Greet Your Wife And Tell Her She Lives On Seaweed”


In private he paints the fence, takes care of his family, rummages about in the garden, and plays kick the can with his pockets full of cooked prawns. At work he takes care of the fence, rummages about in the family, paints the garden and plays kick the can with his pockets full of cooked prawns. The Other Newspaper meets Geefer Noot for a talk about tape, decorating mashed potatoes with crushed carrots and why his neighbor smells of tar.

“My neighbour opposite is Gerhard Fuck.”

The interview is interrupted by the postman who pokes his head in at the kitchen door.

“Have you seen Gerhard Fuck recently?”

“Yes, he came a little while ago.”

“Well, well. Then everything is as usual.”


“Is he still in pain?”

“It helps when he’s lies flat down on his back.”

“Have you polished the flagpole?”

“My wife did that.”

“You do not need a cloth then?”

“Gerhard always lets his air dry.”

“Well, I’ll go over to Joanna. She is curious about my delivery.”

“Yes. She has a good sense of humor.”

“Yes. But she does not like it when I’m too busy.”

“Of course. Well, is it soft this time?”

“She will be happy when she gets it up.”

“I want to say that you must be patient too.”

“Does she get meat today?”

“She just gets the little one, I can’t remember what it’s called.”

“Basically, that doesn’t matter. As long as it tastes better than the one I got last time.”

“What did it taste like?”

“I can’t recommend it. I complained and then they sent me one with two melons and a really delicious can.”

“It’s lovely. My wife has one too. You know what? Tell your wife that she has something she can put in.”

“Haha. That could really be misunderstood. But I’ll do that.”

“Please greet your wife and tell her that her nuts are delicious.”

“Please greet your wife and say she has buttocks of steel.”

“Please greet your wife and say she lives on seaweed.”

The noisy conversation is interrupted by Geefer’s wife who enters the kitchen and knocks him on the top of his head with a broom. The postman runs away.

Previous article“You Don’t Have to Start From Scratch When You Start from The Beginning”
Next articleBoy Turned into Parrot in The Swimming Pool
Morten Hjerl-Hansen (born 15. June 1973) is a danish blogger born in Copenhagen, Denmark, Europe. I lived for the first 19 years of my life in a liberal-minded, literary and academic home in North Zealand. My mother is a psychiatrist and my father is a chemical engineer. I have two siblings. Throughout childhood, "I invented near-useless things almost every day" and told my siblings "fairy tales" where they themselves were the protagonists. In 1986, I visited Houston in the United States with my family on a stay that spanned three and a half months. I started programming in 1986 and made approx. 20 major projects until I "lost the ability" in 2018. Student from N. Zahles High School 1992. Ry College 1993. Read theology 1993-1994 in Aarhus. Read philosophy 1995-2000 in Linköping, Lund and Copenhagen. Worked as Java programmer 2000 and 2001. Participated in numerous poetry readings in Copenhagen 2002-2007. Got a psychosis in 2007 "which took about 10 years to recover". Married to Else Andersen in 2010 and resides in Asnaes, Denmark. Father in 2014. Has written The Other Newspaper daily in Danish and English daily since 2013.