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She Was Admitted to The Acting School


“Very few singing stars can play a decent guitar solo.”

The Other Newspaper is on the acting school where the applicant Mia Fountain is getting ready to improvise for two minutes from the cue a happy Swiss. Like many others who aspire to be actors, she is highly critical of whether the happy Swiss can be played at all. She loudly states in front of a silent jury how difficult the improvisation will be. The three judges look despondent, then compassionate and eventually discouraged.

Then follows a breathing exercise. The silence after the stream of reasonable objections is striking. Then she begins.

It’s a remarkably poor performance she delivers. The four languages work out well. But why does she walk like a bird? The timing is wonderful. But why does she use the judges’ personal belongings as props? Oh no. Now she calls her bank and makes an arrangement about a major financial adventure: The establishment of an import company for white goods.

Mia, you were admitted. Congratulations.


Thanks to your initiative, this acting school can now make money for many years in the future on white goods. Your new principal, whom I have just interviewed, says that it is incredible every time an improvisation does this.

“It’s illocutionary.”

Yes. It’s actually more than that. It’s perlocutionary.

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Morten Hjerl-Hansen (born 15. June 1973) is a danish blogger born in Copenhagen, Denmark, Europe. I lived for the first 19 years of my life in a liberal-minded, literary and academic home in North Zealand. My mother is a psychiatrist and my father is a chemical engineer. I have two siblings. Throughout childhood, "I invented near-useless things almost every day" and told my siblings "fairy tales" where they themselves were the protagonists. In 1986, I visited Houston in the United States with my family on a stay that spanned three and a half months. I started programming in 1986 and made approx. 20 major projects until I "lost the ability" in 2018. Student from N. Zahles High School 1992. Ry College 1993. Read theology 1993-1994 in Aarhus. Read philosophy 1995-2000 in Linköping, Lund and Copenhagen. Worked as Java programmer 2000 and 2001. Participated in numerous poetry readings in Copenhagen 2002-2007. Got a psychosis in 2007 "which took about 10 years to recover". Married to Else Andersen in 2010 and resides in Asnaes, Denmark. Father in 2014. Has written The Other Newspaper daily in Danish and English daily since 2013.